she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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