my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
