got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
