just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
