a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
