He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
