you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
