Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
