Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
