I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize