Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
