He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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