yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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