some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
