Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
