i permit you to call me
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
