she was so not down for the gang bang
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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