Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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