i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
