I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
