This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize