dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
