just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
