maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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