I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
