Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
