I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
