ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
