Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
