she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
what day is it and did you see me today?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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