The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
do herpes really smell.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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