I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My penis needs a shock collar
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
