the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize