He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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