so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
