It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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