guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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