so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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