it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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