My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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