I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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