you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?