we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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