Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
