I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
