the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
how does that bad decision feel?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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