Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
