ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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