OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
