I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
