She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
