this is something i pride myself on being below average for
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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