the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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