her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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