I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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