saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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