So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
