I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize