I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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