Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
