too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize