i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
